Taming the Tongue
By Manny Vazquez, M.S., LMFT, Counselor, Teacher of Effective Communication
Friday, July 31, 2026
My Brothers and Sisters in Christ Jesus,
When we are on the receiving end of a harsh criticism, correct or not, it can greatly affect us. Our Precious LORD teaches us in His Word that we need to be kind with others, even when we are correct in our assertions about something, and I would say, especially when we are correct.
Tonight, as I was pondering what my tongue has led me to say to my loved ones, the LORD directed me to James 3:1-12, where the Word of God states the following:
“Not many should become teachers, my brothers, knowing that we will receive a stricter judgment, for we all stumble in many ways. If anyone
does not stumble in what he says, he is a mature man who is also able to control his whole body.
Now when we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we also guide the whole animal. And consider ships: Though very large
and driven by fierce winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So too, though the tongue is a small
part of the body, it boasts great things. Consider how large a forest a small fire ignites. And the tongue is a fire. The tongue, a world of
unrighteousness, is placed among the parts of our bodies. It pollutes the whole body, sets the course of life on fire, and is set on fire by hell.
Every sea creature, reptile, bird, or animal is tamed and has been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of
deadly poison. We praise our Lord and Father with it, and we curse men who are made in God’s likeness with it. Praising and cursing come out of
the same mouth. My brothers, these things should not be this way. Does a spring pour out sweet and bitter water from the same opening? Can a fig tree produce olives, my brothers, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a saltwater spring yield fresh water.” (from the Holman Christian
Standard Bible [HCSB] version of the Holy Scriptures)
Friends, from my own personal experience, many well-meaning Christians, including myself, have almost destroyed their fellow believers with their use of the tongue. Have you ever encountered a Christian who knew the Scriptures well, who supposedly loved his family and his friends, yet, he was very harsh with others? These people praise God at church on Sundays, then during the week, they verbally tear people apart at work or in their home. It seems inconsistent, correct? Well, I am just as guilty of this sin as anyone else. I’ve gotten on my self-righteous horse and hurt my loved ones with the very words of the Bible. I have heard it said, and it is absolutely true, that it is much better to be kind than to be right. You can be right all day long, but if you are treating people poorly, it won’t matter at all.
In 1 Corinthians 13:1-7, the famous verses on love, the Scriptures declare the following:
“If I speak human or angelic languages
but do not have love,
I am a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries
and all knowledge,
and if I have all faith
so that I can move mountains
but do not have love, I am nothing.
And if I donate all my goods to feed the poor,
and if I give my body in order to boast
but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind.
Love does not envy,
is not boastful, is not conceited,
does not act improperly,
is not selfish, is not provoked,
and does not keep a record of wrongs.
Love finds no joy in unrighteousness
but rejoices in the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.” (HCSB version of the Holy Bible)
The phrase from this Bible Passage that stands out at me is this, “Love is patient, love is kind,…” (1 Corinthians 13:4a). We need to always treat
others with patience and love, no matter how righteous we are. It is something that I have learned in my life, something that is clearly the call of
my LORD on my life.
For further explanation, we have Galatians 5:22-26, where Paul the Apostle teaches, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, we must also follow the Spirit. We must not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.” (HCSB version of the Holy Scriptures)
If we are to live by the Spirit, we must act like it. No matter how correct we are in our knowledge of the Word of God, if we don’t love our family like
God loves us, we are nothing more than clanging cymbals. Amen and Amen.